Two-wheeled morons

I don't need to set my alarm clock any more, as I get woken every morning by the same, annoying sound emanating from the chrome penis extension that finds itself attached to these so-called super bikes. If they're not revving their motors in the driveway, to let everyone know of their miserable existence, they're roaring down the road at high speed with their high pitched drone resonating through the neighbourhood.

The only reasonable motorcyclist I've come across lately was one whose bike no longer functioned. I put them in the same league as BMW drivers, who gravitate towards these sort of vehicles because of their aggressive design, thus reflecting their own nature for the world to see. I believe they have what it commonly referred to as SPS (small penis syndrome), and this remains their only way of compensating for their inadequacy. Or they have such low self esteem, that they find this is the only way to attract attention to themselves.

If that sound is so important to them, can't they simply record it and listen to it in the privacy of their own home, or through headphones? No, of course not, because that would defeat the purpose, wouldn't it?
Years ago, one used to hear of the occasional motorcyclist being knocked down on the radio, then it became one a day, and now it's up to three a day. Quite frankly, I don't find this surprising at all. Everyone knows how they ride, and one has to wonder if the number of wheels always outnumbers their IQ. I know that it's perfectly legal to ride between lanes, but at the speed at which it's done, it's a wonder not more are knocked down. They also seem oblivious to the fact that people no longer indicate their intention, so any vehicle could cut in front of them at any time.

I went cycling up Chapman's peak the Sunday before the Argus Cycle Tour, and there were hundreds of cyclists, people walking, people jogging. These morons on their motorcycles came tearing up, cutting corners, and putting peoples lives in danger. Last year I saw a cyclist that had been knocked off his bike by one of them, and all that was left behind when I passed on the return trip was a large pool of blood.

I know that there are motorcyclists who are not idiots, but I think that nowadays, they seem to be a rare breed in this country. I wish super bikes could be banned, but I think, that because of their behaviour, they'll turn out to be a dying breed anyway.

Were we duped by the media? (about Oscar?)

Much has been written about the Oscar Pistorius saga, and much will still be written. I have pretty much read all that can be read in the papers and magazines, and have been astonished by some of the reactions of the general public. It seems many of them have gone into what I would like to call, "Hansie-mode". Remember him? It appears that even if he were found guilty, there would be many who would forgive him. They would say, like Hansie, that the devil made him do it, or, we don't know what he went through, to make him do such a thing.

Why don't we step back for a moment and ask ourselves : Even if this whole thing never happened and he hadn't killed Reeva, was he a nice guy? We only hear of his "other/dark" side now, even though that information was out there all along. How much was withheld by the media, and others, to create this "hero" people have wanted to believe in? I read the papers every day and didn't know about his imprisonment for a night for having assaulted a 19 year old female in 2009. (It's possible I may have missed it) I didn't know that he had a thing for guns. I now discover he has applied for a further seven firearm licences.

I had read a short article about him threatening to break someone's legs. (ironic or what). His outburst on the track was another. I hadn't read about him almost shooting his friend in the foot until now. The most telling thing though, for me, was his own admission in a magazine interview by his sister, that he wrote down the names of people that had wronged him (such as writing about him in a bad light -add my name Oscar!), in a black book. That is scary. For me, that says more than all the other "things" combined. Especially for someone who believes so strongly, that he has a psalm tattooed on his back. It's a contradiction of his supposed belief, just like violence is.

Would people so readily offer their doubts about the state's case against him, if he were just some average citizen in some backwater suburb? In any event, it doesn't make much difference, as I believe he will be found not guilty of the charges he faces, or guilty of something lesser, that won't require jail time.

I say this because of what has already transpired. Before his bail hearing I thought the police would mess it up, not only because they're incompetent but because it's been stated that Oscar has friends high up in the police force. How much would it take (deposited in a bank account at a later date) to get someone like Hilton Botha to investigate the crime? Knowing that the whole world is watching, knowing that it is probably the most high profile case ever, how do you put someone like Hilton Botha in charge of investigation? He has nothing to lose, he can hardly make his career prospects worse, by already face murder charges himself. A perfect bribe, if it is one, because no-one expects any better from our police anyway! I do hope I am wrong, that the truth will come out without interference. I remember that rugby player, Bees Roux, that beat that policeman to death. R750 000 bought his freedom, and that was legally. With that, and all the other crap that happens in this country every day, how can I not be cynical?

South Africans are stupid!

A few years back I read a statistic that said that the average South African IQ was 70, but I've also read another saying it's over a hundred. I think either may have been a bit generous. My statement that South Africans are stupid will of course attract much vitriol, but bear in mind that as generalisations go, this is one of them.

 The reason I say they're stupid, is because of recent news reports of the amount of support that the "Death Squad" of Cator Manor policemen have received. Even our erstwhile police commissioner found it a worthwhile cause to lobby for, but that really says more about him than anything else.

These people are vigilantes and yet your average Joe Citizen believes it is right to defend their behaviour. The same thing happened with Bheki Cele's shoot to kill statement. The radio stations were inundated with calls of support. The question that they all failed to entertain was : "What if someone close to me was wrongly targeted?" It's ok if someone else's child or father gets mistaken for a criminal and is shot, sometimes mistakes happen. And your child? And your father? Then it's not okay. Then you will sue the police force for as much as you can, voice your utter horror that such a thing ever occurred. It's the same thing with township vigilantism. It just takes someone to say something about someone they don't like. No questions, let's just assume and believe that the person is guilty. Serves him right.  It just takes a little thinking, not much, not enough to pop a blood vessel, just a bit, to look at something from a slightly different perspective. It really should be a normal process.

The same thing happened with Pig Spotter, where one could go online and look for speed traps and road blocks. Everyone said "Great! That will show those cops they can't catch me! They're just out there to make money anyway!" Until someone they know is killed because of some speeding idiot.

It really struck me how absurd the whole thing was, how morally vacuous we've become, when I went out for a function at a restaurant. Perfectly normal people sitting around a table, about 10 of them. Everyone had a good time, drank too much, ate too much and then when it came to an end, everyone was on their cell phones. Why? After the usual discussions about crime, morals and the like, they were now checking where the road blocks would be. So they could avoid them and possibly kill someone you know.

How is it possible to not see this reality? Are South Africans really that dumb?

Everyone should join the ANC!

With the ANC becoming more like the National Party of old these days, I believe it is time for drastic action. It's as if they harvested that finger of PW Botha's and inserted it in some repository of theirs, with the result that we now have an ugly rotting finger wagging the body politic.

We do not need to have our own Arab Spring. As much as we like violence and all the excitement that goes with it, there is another way to take this country back. We do not have to revert to stereotype, and my suggestion is a campaign that will finally make the ANC unhinge itself, and forever silence it's racist propaganda. A campaign that will pull us all back from the abyss we appear to be looking into.

It is this : All whites (those counter-revolutionaries and other racists) Coloureds(who should move to other parts of the country)  and Indians (who are not related to the Gupta Family, because they already belong) should join the ANC and become card carrying members. This does not mean that you would then vote for them, on the contrary, I urge you not to. What it will do, however, is silence the ANC and it's racist rhetoric. It can not call its own members racist, can it? (although I'm sure they will surprise us) It will confuse them entirely.

It will also give them a false sense of security, and this is the best way of relieving them of their abusive power.
I don't believe there is any other way of avoiding the present slide. It is a perfect way of conducting psychological warfare in a peaceful yet effective manner. It will also appeal to those who get a kick out of doing the 'wrong' thing (and we know there are many of those around) and at the same time, it will be fun. I am going to join the ANC this week and I urge you all to join me. Amandla Comrades! Tenders for all! Awhetu!  The time is now!

I'M NOT A RACIST, BUT....

If I had a rand for every time I've heard this, I'd be sitting on some exotic island sipping Pina Coladas. Every now and then, something is said, or written, that galvanises racists or borderline racists into justifying their racism. We feel better about ourselves because someone has articulated our feelings and sugar coated the very thing we often deny about ourselves. I'm sure that the gates of vitriol will open and all those people that like to hide behind their anonymity will speak their mind. I suppose this veil allows for the true reflections of those that, in more civilised interaction, would never dare say the things they say. All I ask is that before we spew our boiling bile, that we make the effort to think a little, before we say those things.

The recent events of the last week have brought all this hatred out into the open, with the most awful things being said from both sides of the divide. Is it not time that we realise that this moral vacuum that we as a nation have slipped into, crosses all races, black and white and all the colours in between? For instance, I often hear people complain about how lawless taxi drivers are. Well, they are, but at the same time, those people are quite happy to break the law themselves. The aggression, and recklessness I see on our roads are committed by the very people who stand around their braais on a weekend, relating stories about what taxi did what. Yes, white people. Those same people complain about how corrupt the ANC is, and it is, but neglect to complain about white South Africans in business who are guilty of the very same thing. The ANC has unravelled everything that people like Mandela had brought about and continue to polarise race groups against each other. They are like the National Party in a different guise. Given the opportunity, many of us, regardless of race, would take that bribe, break that traffic law or be violent. The point I am trying to make is that it is not a race thing, but a South African thing.

Many of us are angry, but I find that my anger has dissipated into sadness. I'm afraid to think back to those heady days in 1994 or the world cup. It feels like some dream, that I might never have again. It also shows me, however, that it IS possible for us to work together. I only hope that it is not too late. The government has it's own agenda, but let's forget about them for a little while. Let's look at ourselves, and ask what WE are doing to turn back this tide. They say a fish rots from the head, can't we, as the tail, try and take it back?

Presidential head removed!

Before anyone gets too excited, this is not about some faction of the ANC getting rid of President Zuma, but the continuing drama of "The Spear" The latest news being of course that the painting was vandalised by a professor and an assistant. In dramatic fashion and typical South African irony, this act of destruction was caused by a white man. I expect the ANC will be incensed, that with all it's rhetoric about the supposed  racist undertones in connection with this painting, that it took a white man, with a black helper to finally depenisize (a new word) the object of their anger. Their only saving grace perhaps is that they chose black paint and not the other hue. Dismembered but not forgotten.

Frankly, since this story first broke, it was the only time that I saw the presidential pecker. (I'm really not complaining)  It has since been sanitized for viewing pleasure in all publications that I have seen. So is media self censorship rearing it's ugly head again?

 Instead of having risen to the occasion, the ANC has once again exposed itself as an immature government. The Canadians have had their own version of their Prime Minister depicted in rather unflattering form, with nothing but a tuft of hair pointing to the spot where something more substantial could have been lurking. I'm sure the Canadians had every reason to be upset for being sold short, but no, they have laughed about it.

If Zuma had any sense, he would have posted this, by all accounts flattering, rendition of himself on Facebook. We could then be reading about new nuptials every weekend. The other nude painting of Zuma, by Ayanda Mabulu, hasn't raised the ire of the ANC in any way that I know of. For those who haven't seen it, it has a chastity belt- like iron ring around it, supported by a Salvador Dali-like crutch. Talk about support for the President! In comparison to Brett Murray's painting, hers is positively limp in comparison. Double speak, 1984 comes to mind.


Coming back to the Proff and his sidekick, there will be conjecture as to their motives : Is he an envious struggling artist, a man with penis envy, or someone looking for a place at the ANC feeding trough? Only time will tell, but with our ever efficient judicial system, we will have to wait with bated breath. On the positive side, we are, rest assured, that the rainbow nation is still functioning, albeit in criminal form. I wonder if the German buyer of the painting will want a refund, or treasure it more because of the extra material used in its creation. In any event, as smudge as some would see this painting now, they are no longer permitted the freedom to see it's original form.

Drivers who remove their licence plates are criminals

While I find the campaign against drunk driving commendable, I wonder why an equally despicable crime has not been addressed. I refer to the increasing number of drivers who remove their licence plates to avoid detection by speed cameras. I wonder if people have really thought about the impact that this has on road behaviour.

For instance, when I see a drunk driver on the road I phone and report it to authorities. On many occasions I've been unable to do so as the person responsible has removed their licence plates. I have seen reckless driving, excessive speeding, road rage, illegal dumping, all committed by these people who do whatever they want. They are unidentifiable and there are no consequences to their actions. I’m sure the increase in “hit and runs” is a direct result of this. Not only is the traffic department losing out on revenue, but its worst traffic offenders continue to cause havoc on our roads.

 Before people jump to the conclusion that it is taxis that are guilty of this, I can say that I have only seen one taxi without plates, the majority of these offenders are the drivers of luxury vehicles. Demographically, they are people who would never drive or own taxis.They are also the same people who love to complain about how corrupt our government is (yes it is), and how taxis never obey the rules of the road. What did they think when Julius Malema was found driving around without licence plates? 

The ridiculous R500 fine they could possibly incur is a drop in the ocean compared to the thousands they have ‘saved” in fines.

The other aspect is that these people ‘assist’ criminals by their actions. The first thing criminals do after having committed a crime is to remove the plates from their vehicle. If it was the only vehicle doing so, it would make it that much easier to find.

JP Smith said on Cape Talk more than three years ago, that this issue was his bugbear and that he was going to do something about it. How much longer must we wait? In Kwazulu Natal, if your vehicle is found to be without plates, it is impounded, and until you can present those plates, your vehicle will not be returned to you. When I have visited there, people seemed to obey the speed limits, and all of them had licence plates.

The Traffic Department doesn’t seem concerned about this from what I’ve experienced. I have often seen Traffic Department vehicles driving behind those unidentifiable cars and ignoring them. I have spoken to Traffic officers and all of them smile and say "Ask JP Smith just how many fines have been issued for this offence." 

JP Smith and Robin Carlisle are forever going on about the new trapping methods that have been installed, but they're not catching the real perpetrators. By nature I'm quite cynical and would never have entertained the thought that maybe they don't really want to do anything about this, because the great majority of people doing this are the very people who vote for the DA. Do they want to keep them happy? I only say this because I know that they know about it, and have known about it for years. I've written to the papers, Talk Radio, all the heads of Traffic Departments and no-one is interested.

 All the police have to do is walk around a parking lot to find these vehicles. There are also thousands who have altered their licence plates by either defacing a number or breaking off part of the plate. The other problem, is that this behaviour is emulated by others, with the typical South African response of : "I'm going to do it because he's doing it". We also have the next generation, their children, seeing that it's "OK" to break the rules YOU choose to break. It's about time the authorities did something about this scourge, because the people who are breaking this traffic law are able to break all traffic laws. They will continue doing so for as long as they're allowed to.